Sarah
by greenleaf-in-bloom
Summary: Jareth contemplates Sarah, and hopes that someday, she might love him for who he is now, not who he was once.
1. Default Chapter

She's a beautiful girl.  
  
I noticed that at first. When she spoke to me for the first time, in the park, my heart fluttered. I was in my owl form, but it was day, and my eyes hurt. She had to use those words. Those were the first words she ever spoke to me, and maybe that was why I did it. I had convinced the goblins that I had seen and wanted the child. That was true, if you counted Sarah as a child. But they, of course, thought I meant the baby. I didn't want to lie to them. I had hoped I would find a way to trap her.  
  
All through it, I let her go. I let her get free. I left her the ways out. Had she died, I would have too. Had she been hurt, I would have broken, and healed her.  
  
I hated making her afraid, but I had to. She had to admire me. She had to love me and fear me. I saw the hurt in her eyes, the naieve longing. She never wanted the baby. She just didn't want to be blamed. That was what I thought. Only in the end, when she jumped.only then did I force myself to face the truth. It wan't seeing me that she kept going for. It was really for the child.  
  
She loved him, so I hated him. I wanted her to love ME, and only me. I was Jareth, King of the Goblins. I had MADE this world. I said it, in my maze of stairs. Everything I've done, I've done for you. Some of it was a lie. Most of that song I sang to her was the truth.  
  
I never made her love me. I made her fear me, and hate me, and perhaps even pity me.  
  
I move the stars for no one, but I wish I could move them. For you, Sarah. All for you.  
  
Your eyes can be so cruel. Perhaps the truest part of it all. Just as I can be so cruel, but Sarah, I don't want to be. I don't want to be cruel. I don't like hating, but I can do it. Anyone can hate. I saw in her eyes, in the end, the desperation to get away from me. I repulsed her. I was evil.  
  
I watched her through the window in her world. She loved the child, and she loved them. Perhaps someday, I could convince her that she never would have loved any of them if it weren't for me. She was a lesson, she was the teacher, she knew what I did not.  
  
Dancing with her, I saw in her eyes the softest thing of all, the thing that gave me hope. She knew who I was in the dance, if not what I had done. I let her take the child. Perhaps someday she will forgive me and return. Someday, when the world throws itself at her, and her friends come less and less, and she loses her innocence, I will still be there.  
  
Goodbye, Sarah. And should you need me, call. I will come. 


	2. The Dance Was Best

Turn back before it's too late.  
  
I knew she wouldn't, but I didn't know if I wanted her to. I would have to return, to see her again. I loved her. I loved her the moment I saw her.  
  
She had to look in her little bound book to remember the words. I laughed and cried. She could not overcome me that way. She would have no book. But it had to be those words.  
  
If she had turned back, if I had made her forget about the child, then I would come back, offering for her to come to my kingdom. Not to win back her little brother. I did not believe that she ever could have done that. But to come inside, to join us.  
  
To join me. She would be my queen, my lady in lace. The dance was wonderful. A childish joy sprang in me, like a first love. It was my first true love. There had been others, among the nobles that surrounded us, those that lived in the made-up worlds of the dances and the feasts and my other creations. None had lasted. I had never cared about them, only found them beautiful.  
  
Sarah was more than that. She was perfect.  
  
The ones living forever in my dance world asked me about her, when I returned to them after she escaped. My power was lessened, and I worked harder at strengthening my kingdom. I never took another child. I never left the lands beyond my creation again. They in the dance world, my noble class, my lords and ladies, asked me often. Where did she go, Your Majesty? Surely you have not forgotten her? That girl who you danced with one night for so long - it was almost an hour, Your Highness. Lovely one, that, King Jareth. Did you get her in the end? Could you bring her back? She was a strange one. An outsider.  
  
I had healed the dance world when she broke the mirror, immediately, and made them forget. But I couldn't make them forget Sarah. I couldn't bring myself to. I couldn't wipe her memory away.  
  
I lied to them, covering up my tracks. Don't ask questions. Why should you care where she went, you imbeciles? Yes, I treated my noble class better than my goblins, who were there for a sole purpose - to serve and amuse me - but that didn't mean I liked them any better.  
  
Sarah. Sarah was the only one I cared about. I never could have forgotten her, even without the reminders.  
  
Yes, I went back as an owl and sat at her window and watched her sometimes. She didn't see me. At least, not at first.  
  
The second dance was better. Perhaps she thought it was a dream. At least she wasn't afraid. It lasted a long time. And when it was over, I left her smiling there. 


End file.
